You made it through 9 months of pregnancy and with any luck you brought home a healthy baby. Things seemed so easy at the hospital. The baby slept the first night, the nurses wrapped it up in a tight swaddle, but now you are home and it feels like the shit is hitting the fan. Rest assured, you are not alone. When the nurses brought my daughter back from the nursery (thank god there will still nurseries when I gave birth), they told me "good luck with this one", I chuckled, thinking "I'm a pediatrician, I got this". Breastfeeding was going great and off we went. Where do I even start, this topic is so overwhelming. Even if all the right things are happening, the first two weeks with a newborn is the equivalent of completing a full iron man triathlon each day. Actually, you will suddenly loose track of all sense of time not even knowing what day it is. "Sleep when the baby sleeps" is the most hilarious and offensive piece of advice anyone can give you. Between feeding, burping, changing diapers, then trying to feed and change yourself there are literally 0 minutes left in a day. I can still remember getting 2 consecutive hours of sleep after my daughter was born and feeling invincible after. Okay so here is my quick summary for new parents with many other topics to come.
Newborns are nocturnal until 6-8 weeks. All you can do is coax them into a new circadian rhythm by keeping it loud and bright during the day and dark and quiet at night. You did not create this scenario by holding them all day, it is mother nature being cruel. You can spoil a newborn so go ahead and cuddle all you want. Even better whoever is there to help or visiting should hold the baby while you lie down or eat something.
Newborns are loud when they sleep: I can't tell you how many times a parent asks me about newborn congestion. Babies come out breathing through their nose. It is two narrow tubes to get all of their air in and out of. They make boogers just like us which can rattle around in there. I tell parents that they all sound like little piggies and their boogers are bothering you more than they are bothering them so mostly leave it all alone. I was a very light sleeper and opted for white noise and ear plugs when my husband was "on duty".
Baby poop. After the initial black meconium that comes out, baby poop can be a wide array of "fall colors", meaning orange, yellow, green or brown. Your doctor should know if becomes black again, red like blood or white like rice pudding. Breastfed babies can poop as often as 12 times a day or as little as once a week. So there is very rarely a time when you can call it diarrhea or constipation.
Grunting, squirming or crying with poop: Newborns brain and body are not at all connected. When you have to poop your brain tells many different muscles what to do to let it out. This is impossible for a newborn. They use grunting, squirming and crying to get it out. It is not a sign of pain or discomfort.
Co-sleeping- as tired as you are and tempting as it is, co-sleeping with a baby gives me panic attacks. I used to wake up in a cold sweat thinking I'd fallen asleep with my baby in the bed with me. The vast majority of deaths while babies are sleeping is due to suffocation in an unsafe sleep environment. If you believe in seatbelts then you should believe in safe sleep. If no one is awake and supervising, then a baby should always be placed on his or her back on a firm mattress with nothing other than a tight swaddle or sleep sack. If you're still not convinced I am happy to put you in contact with one of my professors who showed us an hour long slide show of crimes scene investigations into infant deaths, all of them from co-sleeping.
Congrats you've read my baby 101 guide. Other newborn topics to be covered are: what to expect at the hospital after you deliver, feeding your baby (breast and or formula), sleep training, how to plan a girls night or weekend away, will I ever exercise again? and many more.